I almost lost out on a job opportunity because of my Afro hair…

Throughout my education and career, I have countlessly been provided strong evidence why being a black person with Afro hair can go against you.

🟪 The code of conduct in my school policy prohibited Afros

🟨 Witnessing highly talented people not being able to go into important meetings with external clients because they “didn't want to give the wrong impression” even though others were presenting their work

🟪 Being told by a random person in the office kitchen that a black lady who rocked a neat Afro that day was “inappropriate”

🟨 Googling “unprofessional hairstyles” to see pictures of very appropriate and neat hairstyles of black people.

I could go on.

My feelings changed about how I wore my hair when I had my daughter.

I wanted her to love her natural hair and to feel liberated to wear whatever protective hairstyle she wanted or an Afro without judgement, fear or shame.

I knew the only way she'd love her hair is for mummy to love her natural hair too.

So I stopped chemically straightening my hair and wore my Afro out for the first time not long after she was born.

The biggest hurdle was getting back into the corporate world.

An hour before an interview, I saw it was a Skype call. I froze and thought it was a video call.

I bottled it. I immediately thought I'd be discriminated against because of my hair. The beliefs I held for so long consumed me and rather than doing last-minute prep, I was pinning back my Afro so my hair looked more “presentable”.

I didn't perform at my best at all. I was too flustered and too distracted thinking about what I'd just done. It was a phone call in the end.

Surprisingly, I was asked for a 2nd interview in person and with personal commitments after it, I decided, screw it. I'm not changing my hair, so I'm going as I am.

It was liberating and yet I was filled with dread afterwards as I really wanted the role. I really thought I blew it.

The feedback was glowing and was told to “bring the Cleo from the 2nd interview and not the first” to meet the senior lead.

I knew why there was a difference in me between the two interviews. How relieved I am looking back that they gave me another chance.

I got the job.

Now, I LOVE my hair. The pandemic definitely helped me during that transition ALOT as I was able to go through the process of getting used to it myself without also thinking about other people's perceptions.

The reason why I share this on World Afro Hair Day is that I created an invisible barrier through the trauma I experienced in the past. It inhibited me from believing that I was capable and belonged in certain spaces that would open me up to more opportunities and up levelled my career to earn more money.

My financial wealth paid the price for so long as I felt I needed to fit in rather than be as I truly am at times to get through life and land opportunities. That strategy can only get you so far. I began to feel so conflicted with my values and desires, feeling confused about whether I was performing as me or how I was expected to be. It's so exhausting. Imposter syndrome plagued me.

It's equally more exhausting when you see the apparent discrimination and feel powerless to speak up, having witnessed others being gaslit. Shamefully, you remain quiet. The frustration doesn't go away. It comes out in different ways and for me, it came out in the form of self-sabotaging my success. It limited me to having the ability to grow and build wealth and break the generational curse.

I had to put a stop to it. I had enough of being in the burnout cycle and carrying the weight of judgement, shame and fear.

Now I say, take me as I am. I only enter spaces where I know I belong and refuse to try and fit in.

My desires and values are not to be bargained with!

I LOVE hair and my daughter shows signs that she loves her own hair too.

My message to you is, wear your hair the way you feel it represents who you are unapologetically in ANY space or environment you're in. If you're not accepted then you don't belong there; and that is ok. You'll find somewhere where you can stand in your truth and feel you can bring all of you to.

It may mean taking steps which feel risky. What is more risky, is sticking around in places where do not truly belong.

Don't let that be you.